The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 (Review)
Summary: After the birth of Renesmee, the Cullens gather other vampire clans in order to protect the child from a false allegation that puts the family in front of the Volturi.
Now before you say ANYTHING, fuck you. Yes, I’ve seen EVERY Twilight movie since the first one came out back in 2008. Yes I know the acting is corny, yes I know the plot is even MORE corny. But you have to admit, as MUCH shit as we all talk about it, and as MUCH as we all roll our eyes seeing grown ass woman’s panties drop just from seeing Taylor Lautner shirtless. You gotta admit, it’s a guilty pleasure, well at least to me it is. As much as I DID NOT want to see this shit, I just HAD to see it. I mean I DID see all the other ones, so I might as well complete the saga of fuckery on how far a vampire will go to protect that good pussy.
Breaking Dawn Part 2 is the second half of the final story of the Twilight saga. After being brought back to life by Edward (Robert Pattinson) after a near death experience after childbirth. Belle (Kristen Stewart) is now a vampire (that glitters), and is now a mother to her fast glowing daughter Renesmee. After the vampire coven Volturi finds out about the child, they seek out to destroy her and the Cullen family for betraying the vampire code of giving birth to a immortal child. So Belle, The Cullen family, Jacob (Taylor Lautner), his wolfpack, and their allies from all over the world come together to fight off the Volturi and protect their child once and for all.
Now if your a fan of the books/franchise then you already know what to expect. Seeing Belle and Edward being all lovely dovey now that they are both vampires. Jacob taking his shirt off in random moments, corny ass acting, corny ass lines here and there. I mean, you know EXACTLY what you gonna get going into this. It’s not you walk in and expect that you gonna watch Citizen Kane or some shit like that, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU GONNA EXPECT going into this movie. If you complain about it, then your just pissing yourself off for watching it at all. Now if I can speak about some positives about this film, I’d admit it DID have some funny moments here and there, and the special effects was pretty cool. Especially the CGI baby, who they made look almost EXACTLY like the young actress playing the daughter. Also the “Epic” final battle was pretty intense, I’m not even gonna lie about that. Seeing Kristen Stewart be a total bad ass for once was a pretty good sight to see. Matter a fact, the ENTIRE final battle was epic in every sense of the word, it kept my eyes glued to the screen for a good 20 minutes. Which leads me to the “twist” of this finale that’s either going to piss you off or your just going to laugh about it.
Now if you read the books, then you would have seen this twist coming a mile away. However, if you NEVER read the books (like me), and you are just a regular movie watcher like everybody else, you will feel trolled. I really mean it, the “twist” was really some bullshit…BULL..FUCKING…SHIT! When it happened I screamed at the screen with “WHAT THE FUCK?!?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!” If there is one thing that really irks me about movies or just stuff in general is when people try and fuck with my intelligence. Sucker Punch did this to me, The Happening did this to me, and Mitt Romney tried pulling that bullshit on me. The shit that THIS movie pulled just sneaked on me and the entire audience, it’s like the complete Charlie Brown football gag. I would spoil it for ya, but it’s something I would rather have y’all witness for yourself. If i could give you a hint, just imagine if at the end of Return Of The Jedi, it just shows a young Anakin Skywalker wake up and realize that ALL the shit that happened in the movies was just a dream. Well it’s not really THAT extreme, but it’s pretty much up there. Let’s just say, that it is the complete definition of a anticlimactic ending…
Overall, all I can say is that I am SO glad this movie series is finally over with. The success of this franchise lead to the resurrection of the vampire genre, and now we got a SHIT load of vampire movies, books, TV shows, etc. Like I stated before, love it or hate it, the Twilight Saga was a guilty pleasure to experience and you couldn’t help but witness it. This movie would have gotten a better score from me if it wasn’t for that bullshit of a “twist” ending, but whatever it is what it is. Now that this is over, middle aged woman are preparing themselves for the inevitable 50 Shades Of Grey movies. You know it’s coming, and when it does…you know your going to watch it as well…like me….smh